Robin Williams’ Plan For Peace

Com­ic relief that is so true. From mah dawg, Orphana­tor…

I see a lot of peo­ple yelling for peace but I have not heard of a viable plan for peace. So, here’s my plan:

  1. The US will apol­o­gize to the world for our inter­fer­ence” in their affairs, past and present. We will promise nev­er to “inter­fere” again.
  2. We will with­draw our troops from all over the world, start­ing with Ger­many, South Korea and the Philip­pines. Instead, we will sta­tion these troops at all of OUR bor­ders. No more sneak­ing through holes in the fence to get in.
  3. All ille­gal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs togeth­er and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remain­der will be gath­ered up and deport­ed imme­di­ate­ly, regard­less of who or where they are. France would wel­come them.
  4. All future vis­i­tors will be thor­ough­ly checked and lim­it­ed to 90 day vis­its unless giv­en a spe­cial per­mit. No one from a ter­ror­ist nation would be allowed in. If you don’t like it where you live, change it your­self, don’t hide here. Asy­lum would not EVER be avail­able to ANYONE. We don’t need any more cab dri­vers.
  5. No inter­na­tion­al “stu­dents” over age 21. The old­er ones are the bombers. If our inter­na­tion­al stu­dents don’t attend class­es, they get a big fat “F” and it’s back home, baby. End of dis­cus­sion.
  6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-suf­fi­cient ener­gy wise. This will include devel­op­ing non-pol­lut­ing sources of ener­gy but will require a tem­po­rary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilder­ness. The cari­bou will have to cope for a while.
  7. Offer Sau­di Ara­bia and oth­er oil pro­duc­ing coun­tries $10 a bar­rel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go some­place else.
  8. If there is a famine or oth­er nat­ur­al cat­a­stro­phe in the world, we will not “inter­fere”. They can pray to Allah or whomev­er, for seeds, rain, cement or what­ev­er they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets “lost” or is tak­en by their army. The peo­ple who need it most get very lit­tle, any­way.
  9. Ship the UN Head­quar­ters to an island some place. We don’t need spies and fair weath­er friends here. Besides, it would make a good home­less shel­ter or lock­up for ille­gal aliens.
  10. Use the UN’s build­ings as replace­ment for the twin tow­ers.
  11. All Amer­i­cans must go to charm and beau­ty school. That way, no one can ever call us “Ugly Amer­i­cans” again.

Now, ain’t that a win­ner of a plan.

The Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty is no longer say­ing, “Give me your poor, your tired, your hud­dled mass­es.”

She’s got a Louisville Slug­ger base­ball bat and she’s yelling, “You want a piece of me?”

~Robin Williams

One Comment

Comments Feed