Comic relief that is so true. From mah dawg, Orphanator…
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a viable plan for peace. So, here’s my plan:
The US will apologize to the world for our interference” in their affairs, past and present. We will promise never to “interfere” again.
We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. Instead, we will station these troops at all of OUR borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence to get in.
All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.
All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 day visits unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don’t like it where you live, change it yourself, don’t hide here. Asylum would not EVER be available to ANYONE. We don’t need any more cab drivers.
No international “students” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If our international students don’t attend classes, they get a big fat “F” and it’s back home, baby. End of discussion.
The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else.
If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not “interfere”. They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets “lost” or is taken by their army. The people who need it most get very little, anyway.
Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don’t need spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
Use the UN’s buildings as replacement for the twin towers.
All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can ever call us “Ugly Americans” again.
Now, ain’t that a winner of a plan.
The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, “Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.”
She’s got a Louisville Slugger baseball bat and she’s yelling, “You want a piece of me?”