Robin Williams’ Plan For Peace

Comic relief that is so true. From mah dawg, Orphanator…

I see a lot of peo­ple yelling for peace but I have not heard of a viable plan for peace. So, here’s my plan:

  1. The US will apol­o­gize to the world for our inter­fer­ence” in their affairs, past and present. We will promise never to “inter­fere” again.
  2. We will with­draw our troops from all over the world, start­ing with Ger­many, South Korea and the Philip­pines. Instead, we will sta­tion these troops at all of OUR bor­ders. No more sneak­ing through holes in the fence to get in.
  3. All ille­gal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remain­der will be gath­ered up and deported imme­di­ately, regard­less of who or where they are. France would wel­come them.
  4. All future vis­i­tors will be thor­oughly checked and lim­ited to 90 day vis­its unless given a spe­cial per­mit. No one from a ter­ror­ist nation would be allowed in. If you don’t like it where you live, change it your­self, don’t hide here. Asy­lum would not EVER be avail­able to ANYONE. We don’t need any more cab drivers.
  5. No inter­na­tional “stu­dents” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If our inter­na­tional stu­dents don’t attend classes, they get a big fat “F” and it’s back home, baby. End of discussion.
  6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include devel­op­ing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a tem­po­rary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilder­ness. The cari­bou will have to cope for a while.
  7. Offer Saudi Ara­bia and other oil pro­duc­ing coun­tries $10 a bar­rel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go some­place else.
  8. If there is a famine or other nat­ural cat­a­stro­phe in the world, we will not “inter­fere”. They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or what­ever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets “lost” or is taken by their army. The peo­ple who need it most get very lit­tle, anyway.
  9. Ship the UN Head­quar­ters to an island some place. We don’t need spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good home­less shel­ter or lockup for ille­gal aliens.
  10. Use the UN’s build­ings as replace­ment for the twin towers.
  11. All Amer­i­cans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can ever call us “Ugly Amer­i­cans” again.

Now, ain’t that a win­ner of a plan.

The Statue of Lib­erty is no longer say­ing, “Give me your poor, your tired, your hud­dled masses.”

She’s got a Louisville Slug­ger base­ball bat and she’s yelling, “You want a piece of me?”

~Robin Williams

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