Memos from September 2003

Robin Williams’ Plan For Peace

Comic relief that is so true. From mah dawg, Orphanator…

I see a lot of peo­ple yelling for peace but I have not heard of a viable plan for peace. So, here’s my plan:

  1. The US will apol­o­gize to the world for our inter­fer­ence” in their affairs, past and present. We will promise never to “inter­fere” again.
  2. We will with­draw our troops from all over the world, start­ing with Ger­many, South Korea and the Philip­pines. Instead, we will sta­tion these troops at all of OUR bor­ders. No more sneak­ing through holes in the fence to get in.
  3. All ille­gal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remain­der will be gath­ered up and deported imme­di­ately, regard­less of who or where they are. France would wel­come them.
  4. All future vis­i­tors will be thor­oughly checked and lim­ited to 90 day vis­its unless given a spe­cial per­mit. No one from a ter­ror­ist nation would be allowed in. If you don’t like it where you live, change it your­self, don’t hide here. Asy­lum would not EVER be avail­able to ANYONE. We don’t need any more cab drivers.
  5. No inter­na­tional “stu­dents” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If our inter­na­tional stu­dents don’t attend classes, they get a big fat “F” and it’s back home, baby. End of discussion.
  6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include devel­op­ing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a tem­po­rary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilder­ness. The cari­bou will have to cope for a while.
  7. Offer Saudi Ara­bia and other oil pro­duc­ing coun­tries $10 a bar­rel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go some­place else.
  8. If there is a famine or other nat­ural cat­a­stro­phe in the world, we will not “inter­fere”. They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or what­ever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets “lost” or is taken by their army. The peo­ple who need it most get very lit­tle, anyway.
  9. Ship the UN Head­quar­ters to an island some place. We don’t need spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good home­less shel­ter or lockup for ille­gal aliens.
  10. Use the UN’s build­ings as replace­ment for the twin towers.
  11. All Amer­i­cans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can ever call us “Ugly Amer­i­cans” again.

Now, ain’t that a win­ner of a plan.

The Statue of Lib­erty is no longer say­ing, “Give me your poor, your tired, your hud­dled masses.”

She’s got a Louisville Slug­ger base­ball bat and she’s yelling, “You want a piece of me?”

~Robin Williams

tgif on the tlc tip

what else is new? hendo and i designed some new tees for sigep—bangin’; gas is some­what going down; i am sick of alco­hol after last week’s shindig; and jevon just hates me—f0ker calls me at work just to say some­thing and hangs up… WTF?! at least i email the f0ker my smart-ass remarks … and end it with a smi­lie like =P or ^^ or =) or =D …but f0k that, next time that m0therf0ker calls me and straight out hangs up …i’m putting this ..|..

=p —look jevon smi­lie *cough*f0ker*cough* any­ways, its weird that peo­ple who are younger than me are caught up with their damn emo­tions. shit, there’s other things going on in the world and being pissed because of some small as shit ain’t worth it… so if the raiders aren’t get­ting any dubs… so what? =p you thought i was gonna talk about the “jack­ASS” huh huh O_o well, every­thing else is like gravy. just try­ing to flow like water through my weeks. adapt­ing to the change in cli­mate, as well as life’s momen­tary lemons—like water yo…fluid. a lit­tle phi­los­o­phy for ya youngin’s. doesn’t hurt to have one, once in a while. hmmm, i just real­ized that i might con­sider going back to school. either to get my mas­ters in com­puter engi­neer­ing. or, get another b.s. for graphic arts/digital design—seems fun, got inspired by hendo; i just ain’t got the big bucks for that bad boy. but we’ll see, my only hope is win­ning the lot­tery (well, i guess every­ones). just need enough money to get my debt to zero, zilch, not-a-thing… from my mind to yours, here’s the shirt hendo and i made for sigep (click here)

interesting insight

from a friend…

Aoc­c­drnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uin­ervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit por­belm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.”

the 17th of september…

happy bday to those who i share this great day with (hans, coach phil jack­son, and the late john rit­ter to name a few). yay! …now back to work…